I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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