I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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