Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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