you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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