things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
