i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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