you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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