I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
false alarm. still invincible.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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