So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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