I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
