FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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