Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
