the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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