i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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