Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
