i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
