no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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