bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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