coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
