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I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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