so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
