I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Let's get the cat blown out
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
