Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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