I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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