Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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