Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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