we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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