Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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