What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
