lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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