Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
