I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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