Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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