Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
