He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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