Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
