Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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