what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize