She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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