I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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