it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
should my penis look like a turkey
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
