RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
