why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
