the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset