Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
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I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.