accomplished twins. life is a go
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
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Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
They took my balls.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.