Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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