Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize