fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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