He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
