what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Sober January is a disaster.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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