Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Are we in a gay sports bar?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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