Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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