Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
