I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize