He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm too high and old for this...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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