Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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