Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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