dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
