if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
try to milk me bitch
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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