The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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