It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
