she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
