is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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